The Chinese are opening one mammoth, coal-fired power station every month. Apparently each one of these emits more carbon than the rest of the known universe. And then some.
Which is why I decided to replace my ancient electric razor with a traditional wet one, thus doing my bit to combat the peril from the east. All we need to do now is to stop cows farting and we are on a roll.
So on, one of my rare sorties through SuperU Hypermarket in nearbye Doué la Fontaine, I purchased something called a Gillette Mach or Macho Razor or some suitably masculine sounding thing. Surprisingly; it appeared to be the only item in the Men’s Hygiene Department which had no picture of David Beckham or Zinidan Zidaine stuck on it, (thankfully), but it did have a futuristic ultimate war machine on the front, or perhaps it was just a razor painted like a futuristic, ultimate war machine. Anyway, the razor did the job excellently although, the first time, it left my face looking like the back of a self-flagellating Opus Dei monk.
(Incidentally, whilst typing this I missed the k out of Beckham and Microsoft Word told me I had spelt it wrongly. After inserting the “k” it gave me the all clear. How did it know this? Is David Beckham now so famous that even a computer software programme knows of his celebrity? There must be people called Becham, without the “k”. So how did Word know I wasn’t talking about Mr. Becham and was talking about St. David of the Goldenballs himself)?!!!! Bloody weird if you ask me.
Eventually, of course, one has to buy new blades for a razor but it is at this point that one realises that although SuperU sells the razor, by some sort of convoluted logic, they do not actually sell the replacement blades to go with it. Don’t ask me why. It is beyond all human reason. I havn’t bothered to ask in case the answer causes me to lose the will to live.
Now Sheila, on one of her Voyages of Discovery, or ‘shopping trips’, as they are also known, actually found out that the replacement blades were sold in Intermarché, the other large supermarket in Doué la Fontaine. They do not, of course, seem to sell the razor!!
But the problem is that I rarely enter through the portals of Intermarché as I find the interior dismal, their foodstuffs lacking in range, not offering the variety of goods that the discerning buyer may expect in the early years of the 21st Century and the staff/customer ratio seems to be totally out of balance…..Oh, and it hasn’t got a bar either.
I could ask Sheila to buy me a packet but she would forget and bring me a banana.
So I have therefore been reduced to buying packets of disposable razors from our local shop in Le Puy Notre Dame. These razors are perfectly functional when it comes to shaving the hairs on the front of my face but, surprisingly, are about as much use as a chocolate teapot when it comes to tackling the softer hairs under my chin. Thus, over a period of a few weeks, I acquired a noticeable layer of thick felt under the jaw, which serves no noticable purpose whatsoever, except for hiding the odd malignant mosquito, and also looks decidedly odd.
So, finally, it became necessary to either call a carpet layer or to go to the Intermarché to buy replacement blades for my Macho Turbo Thingy.
Well, on arriving on the car park you could have knocked me down with a pain au chocolat. Not only had the whole store been renovated but someone has bunged a brand new bar/restaurant on the front of it.
I am sure it wasn’t there when I passed it last week.
Now, at this point, may I thank all of you who actually thought this posting was about a restaurant for staying with me! We have now arrived at the establishment itself.
It is called the ‘Le Baccarat’ and is cleverly situated so that you do not actually feel that you are in the supermarket itself. It is brand, spanking new and has a sun terrace in front, together with tables and sunshades. Service is pleasant and attentive and the quality/food ratio is superb.
We chose the €11,00 four-course Menu, (€16,00 over the weekend). This consisted of a self-service salad/entrée bar followed by a “plat principal”, followed by cheese and dessert. The entrée included things like crevettes, spiced sausages, prawns, boudin noir, fresh salads, dressings, etc., etc. The main courses had about six choices including fish dishes, beef goulash, roast beef and braised ham. I had the ‘Beef Goulash’ which was subtly spiced and very tender. Sheila had the ‘Roast Beef’ which was done to perfection; rosy/red in the centre and, again very tender. The round dessert table was groaning, under a very large selection, sitting on a bed of ice. Sheila chose a huge slice of Lemon Meringue which, Harry Potter like, she magically made invisible, (only House-Elves can do this without a wand)! I, being of much sterner stuff, chose to have neither cheese nor dessert – Well, it gives you a certain feeling of moral superiority.
With a perfectly acceptable half pitcher of Anjou Rouge and Coffee, the total bill was €25,00. I didn’t even bother to negotiate a lower price to acknowledge the fact that I had not had the last two courses from the fixed menu. I thought it was pretty good value as it was.
They also do an à la carte which includes grills, (steaks etc.), enormous salads and there is a choice of ten different pizzas.
So, in short, excellent food, incredible prices, pretty good choice and clean, pleasant surroundings. Ideal for a family lunch, without breaking the bank.
You can also do your shopping there. That is, of course, unless you want to buy a Gillette Mach II Turbo Razor Thingy with the Ultimate War Machine on the front. You can get the replacement blades though!
Bon courage et à plus,
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